Time is money. Our time is worth your money. And worthless people’s time is worth less money.
Because equal opportunities is not just a buzzword at ill!™, we put our money where our mouth is and expect all our clients to reciprocate in kind. Our unique pricing scheme ensures our services are genuinely accessible to anyone and everyone, no matter who they are or what they earn.
Clients only pay us the amount of money they themselves would have earned in 15 minutes in their current employment. If, for example, you earn below the UK-wide recommended Living Wage of £8.25 as a zero-hour contract pawn shop cleaner, you will pay nothing for your ill!™ advice session. If, however, you’re a former prime minister regularly engaged as a public speaker and fossil fuels consultant you would owe us £90,000 for the privilege of receiving some ill!™ advice.
And if you earn absolutely nothing, you’re worth nothing and so you pay nothing!*
Whatever your worth, whether you’re worthless or worth just that little bit more, you’re invited to L!ghten Up Your Life!™ with a healthy dose of ill!™ advice.
*Terms and Conditions apply. Proof of poverty may be required to qualify for the concessionary rate.