Our Service Guarantee

ill!™ service at its best. (photo: Chris Scott)

ill!™ service at its best (photo: Chris Scott)

Here at ill!™, we pride ourselves on doing our utmost to ensure all our clients receive the quality service we would expect to receive ourselves.
We endeavour at all times to continually strive to go above and beyond any reasonable expectations our customer base may or may not have.
We are committed to consistently ignoring any complaints or criticisms you may have whilst continuing to provide the same mediocre standard of service you have come to expect from any self-respecting customer-facing operative.
If for some unfathomable reason you are not entirely satisfied with the standard of service you have failed to experience, please do hesitate to contact us within the statutory money back guarantee period*, simply quoting your USP reference number and a deceased playwright of your choice.

*subject to change, depending on the extent of post-Brexit-Brinnit apocalyptic fallout.